Browse all Family Court Reality insights

Financial Remedy (171)

Dividing assets, property, pensions, and income after separation.

• If I explain everything clearly, the court will move faster.
• Outcome Expectation Gap
• Once I have a consent order, it is over and I am protected.
• He put inheritance into the house — surely he gets that back first?
• The other side spent money on repairs without asking me — I’ll have to pay half, won’t I?
• The starting point is 50/50 — so that is what I will get.
• The next hearing will sort it.
• I have left the property, so I still have to keep paying the mortgage.
• Money in a joint account is joint — either of us can take what we want.
• A new partner living in the family home is irrelevant to the financial settlement.
• The divorce is nearly done — we can sort the finances out afterwards.
• I just want out — I do not need to know what they have in pensions or savings.
• My ex stopped paying the mortgage. I can apply to court and they will make him pay his half.
• I disclosed my bank statements. The judge will see them at the hearing.
• This AI divorce tool will help me work out my settlement. It even has a UK calculator.
• The other parent verbally agreed to pay half the nursery fees but is now refusing. Can I enforce that?
• I will have to see my ex in court
• My ex wants the house sold and is taking me to court, am I in trouble?
• If I don't engage in calls or informal chats, it will go against me.
• We agreed it already — that should settle it.
• My husband is not disclosing his assets. Can an accountant help me find out what he has?
• If we both agree to delay the final divorce order until finances are sorted, we do not need a court order — a verbal agreement or undertaking through solicitors is enough.
• The final divorce order can be granted before finances are resolved — it does not affect my financial claims.
• If the other party causes unnecessary court proceedings by refusing to cooperate, they will automatically pay the costs.
• The other party has provided a much lower property valuation than mine. The court will see through it.
• If the other party is hiding assets using third parties — family members or business associates — there is nothing the court can do.
• I need to make sure the court knows everything the other parent has done wrong.
• The other party did not ask me any questions at the FDR. That means nothing is expected of me in terms of negotiation.
• I gave up work and ran the home. That is a contribution. The court will treat it as 50/50.
• I don't have to disclose my finances. This is private information and I am not going to hand it over to someone who is trying to use it against me.
• I am being dragged to court to have my character defiled. I am the one being bullied here. My refusal to engage is self-defence.
• Once the divorce is final, everything is sorted.
• We agreed a parenting plan, so it is binding on both of us.
• I know what we own, so we can just split it fairly.
• If we write it down and both sign, the court will approve it.
• A verbal agreement about money is binding.
• I don't need to disclose that bank account — it only has a few pence in it. It's irrelevant.
• We've lived together for years. We have common law marriage rights — the same as if we were married.
• The paperwork of the divorce is the hard part.
• The FDR judge recommended 50/50. That's clear enough — we know where we stand.
• A fair split is obvious.
• I don't need to worry about pensions in the divorce.
• My ex's behaviour was terrible during the marriage. The court will take that into account in the financial settlement.
• Doing my own divorce means doing it entirely alone.
• Saving money on solicitor fees is the smartest move.
• I suffered domestic abuse throughout the marriage. That has to be taken into account in how the assets are divided.
• My spouse being cooperative during the divorce means they're being transparent about finances.
• Everything we built together during the marriage should be split equally. That's what the law says.
• Once we both agree on the settlement, it's settled.
• We lived together for three years before we got married. That time doesn't count — the marriage only started on the wedding day.
• He is refusing to engage with the financial proceedings. His solicitors won't respond. There is nothing I can do until he decides to participate.
• Should I make a D11 application to force disclosure?
• We're separated but still living together — can we sort finances out later?
• I can just use an AI tool to guide me through my divorce — it'll keep costs down.
• I’m getting half his pension — I can use it to buy a house.
• We lived together for years before getting married — we have the same rights as a married couple.
• I should have got a percentage of the property instead of a lump sum — but the property isn't being sold.
• I agreed to a lump sum — but the property is being sold and I didn't realise a percentage would have moved with the market.
• I earned more and paid more — the court will see my contribution was greater.
• The judge will want to hear about the affairs and the behaviour — I'll put it all in.
• My ex listed everything on Form E — the court has the full picture.
• They showed me their payslips — I know what they earn.
• We both know who's staying in the house — housing is sorted.
• We both have jobs so income needs aren't really a dispute.
• It'll just be split 50/50 — that's what always happens.
• I'm just going to let the court decide — I don't need mediation.
• My deed of trust protects my money — I had it drawn up by a solicitor.
• A McKenzie Friend can help with any court matter — including small claims mediation — and can provide free legal advice.
• regarding the new government consultation "Live together three years and they automatically get half
• regarding the new government consultation "Any child in the house triggers an instant claim — even my partner's kids
• regarding the new government consultation "Cohabiting will be treated the same as divorce
• Court fees are what they are. If I cannot afford them, I cannot go to court.
• All McKenzie Friends are the same.
• I have been living with my partner for 15 years, we haven't got any children. Surely under law I am now his common-law wife, which means I will therefore be entitled to the same rights as a married woman?
• I have been living with my partner for 15 years and we have children. Surely under law I am now his common-law wife, which means I will therefore be entitled to the same rights as a married woman?
• I can come to an FDR without having made any without prejudice proposals.
• My pre or post nuptial agreement will be strictly adhered to in the court.
• If we can't agree on how to split pensions, do we both have to agree to instruct a PODE?
• If I get legal aid for financial remedy proceedings, it works in the same way as legal aid for child arrangements.
• McKenzie Friends are legally qualified and professional.
• A judge at an FDR will make a decision for the parties.
• I can ask the family court to help me with my child maintenance claim.
• I'm not currently paying into my pension, so I don't have to declare it.
• My ex has a council house, so the court will see their housing needs are already met.
• If I put the house in trust for my children, the court cannot order it to be sold.
• My ex made no financial contribution, so they should not get anything from the assets.
• Once my divorce is final, I can remarry straight away and sort out the finances with my ex later.
• The court will only give me a share of my ex's business or shares as a last resort.
• A McKenzie Friend can speak for me in court and conduct my case like a solicitor would.
• Sending proof that I have a medical condition is enough — the court will see I am unwell and take that into account.
• Once the clean break order is sealed, it's final — even if I didn't mention everything.
• If my solicitor messes up my case, the court will sort it out and I won't lose out financially — it's their fault, not mine.
• The court will reduce my ex's share of the assets because of the abuse during the marriage.
• If I tell the court my ex is hiding or wasting assets, they'll have to investigate and my ex will be penalised.
• We moved abroad years ago, so I cannot get divorced in England — I am stuck with whatever the foreign court decides.
• I do not have to answer my ex questionnaire in financial proceedings — it is just their fishing expedition and I can ignore it.
• If I use the Child Maintenance Service, they'll make sure my ex pays — that's their job and they'll enforce it.
• My prenup is badly drafted, so the court will ignore it and divide everything equally.
• I cannot be ordered to pay costs in children proceedings — that only happens in financial cases.
• If I've experienced domestic abuse, going through the court process means reliving it, unprotected, facing my abuser directly.
• We have children together, so I'm automatically entitled to stay in the house, or my ex is automatically entitled to a share of it.
• If I move out of our jointly owned home, I lose my share or my rights to it.
• Casual texts or emails about who gets what from the house don't count, only a formal signed document matters.
• I've put money or work into my partner's house, so I'm automatically entitled to a share of it.
• If we own the house jointly, whoever paid more of the deposit or mortgage gets a bigger share when we split up.
• If my partner dies without a will, I'll automatically inherit their share, or at least be entitled to stay in our home.
• I've been paying the mortgage by myself since we separated, so I'll obviously be approved to take it over solely.
• The value on my annual pension statement is what my pension is worth for the divorce settlement.
• Once we're divorced, that's it. My ex can't come after my money or assets later.
• Where you divorce is just an administrative detail — what really matters is where you married.
• My pension and my ex's pension are worth the same if the paper values look similar.
• I can just instruct a pension expert (PODE) myself as a litigant in person.
• Costs orders are exceptionally rare in financial remedy, so how I negotiate doesn't really matter.
• It's reasonable for a percentage of the sale proceeds of the family home to be ring-fenced for the children as part of the settlement.
• Money I've built up since we separated doesn't need to go on my D81 because we agreed I could keep it.
• Making conduct allegations in financial remedy proceedings will always help my case.
• The most important thing in financial remedy proceedings is making the court see how badly I was wronged.
• Divorce splits everything 50/50.
• If the house is only in my name, it's mine.
• We wrote our own agreement, so we're sorted.
• Crypto doesn't need to be disclosed.
• Staying home with the kids counts for less than earning money.
• Pets get decided like a child custody case.
• (Hague Convention) If the foreign court's proceedings were unfair to me, the English court will look into that when deciding whether to send my child back.
• If my difficult behaviour is explained by neurodivergence, trauma, or cultural background, the court has to weigh that in my favour when assessing risk to my child.
• (Hadkinson Order / Appeals & Enforcement) Missing a payment deadline on a costs order automatically counts as wilful contempt for these purposes.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The HMCTS email guidance tells me how to send documents in my financial case.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) If I email my documents, the court will put them on the file for the judge.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I can just post my documents to Harlow.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I can email the court about anything.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I'll email it and post it too, to be safe.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The subject line of my email doesn't matter.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) There is one fixed deadline for the bundle.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) My order tells me clearly what kind of bundle to produce.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) If we can't produce a PDF bundle, we'll bring paper.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The case summary and asset schedule are a solicitor's job.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I can hand my position statement in on the morning of the hearing.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I send my Form E to the court and the court passes it on.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I've filled in a C8, so my address is protected.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The court says no action is needed, so I can wait.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The hearing date is fixed, so I'll just have to manage.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) Only the forms named at the top of my notice matter.
• (Court Bundles) In a financial case, every page of the bundle is numbered 1 onwards.
• (Court Bundles) Page numbering works the same in every family case.
• (Court Bundles) In a financial case, all my bank statements go in the bundle.
• (Court Bundles) The offers we discussed show how reasonable I've been, so they go in the bundle.
• (Solicitor Letters) A letter from my ex's solicitor tells me what I have to do.
• (Solicitor Letters) If I ignore the letter, it can't be used against me.
• (Solicitor Letters) "Without prejudice" is just legal wording that doesn't mean anything.
• (Solicitor Letters) An "open" letter or offer is private between us.
• (Solicitor Letters) "This letter will be produced on the issue of costs" means I'll have to pay their costs.
• (Solicitor Letters) Only the solicitor makes offers, so my proposals don't matter.
• (Assets in One Name) If it's in my name, it's mine.
• (Assets in One Name) Once we moved it between us, it became joint.
• (Evidence) The judge will go on what I remember.
• (Separation) We separated years ago, so the finances are already sorted.
• (Child Arrangements) If the court doesn't find I've done anything wrong, 50/50 care stays.
• The court won't order my ex's business to be sold. It's their livelihood.
• If my ex offers to pay me out in instalments, the court will accept it.
• Money a business owner loses or writes off inside the company is none of the court's business.
• I started the business before we married, so it isn't shared.
• Legal fees are just the cost of getting a fair result.
• Domestic abuse ends when the parents separate.
• Saying the right things in court shows I have insight and accountability.
• (Domestic Abuse Findings) How I speak to solicitors, Cafcass or contact centre staff has nothing to do with contact.
• Every divorce finances case follows the same timetable, wherever it is heard.
• If the applicant says the assets are under £250,000, the Express Financial Remedy pilot applies and that is the end of it.
• In a financial remedy case, there will be a first appointment where the court explains what I need to do.
• My pension counts towards the £250,000 limit for the Express Financial Remedy pilot.
• The Express Financial Remedy pilot applies to every finances application in a pilot court.
• regarding the new government consultation "Just make an accusation and you will walk away with more money

Child Arrangements (138)

Where children live, contact, parental responsibility, and school decisions.

• My ex has to follow the child arrangements order. If they don't, the court will automatically enforce it.
• I have a solicitor appointment about my children. I will explain everything my ex has done and they will sort it out.
• I asked for one weekend a month without the child so I can manage everything and have a break. He refused. Does the court care about the primary carer having respite?
• The other parent wants midweek overnight stays — collecting the child, putting them to bed late, and returning them first thing. My child has autism and needs routine. Is this appropriate?
• My ex has introduced a new partner to my child without telling me. My child has autism and does not do well with strangers or change. Can I stop this?
• Contact just means visiting my child, does it not?
• Residence means who the child lives with — so if I do not have residence, I have no say.
• I need a custody order — that is what I have to apply for.
• Parental responsibility means who has the child or who is the guardian.
• The Section 7 report will decide who the child lives with.
• Cafcass is on one parent's side — or the court's side.
• In the best interests of the child means what the child says they want.
• If I keep asking what they want, we'll reach agreement.
• Child benefit automatically goes to the primary carer — the other parent cannot block access to it.
• If I tell the truth and explain how much I love my child, the court will understand.
• I will just explain how much I have been involved and show the court the messages. That will speak for itself.
• I am scared and angry — I just need to get into court and say how I feel.
• I do not need to prepare for the Cafcass safeguarding call — I will just answer their questions honestly.
• I don't need anyone's permission to take my child on holiday. I'm their parent.
• The order says the child lives with me. That means I can take them on holiday without asking.
• They won't let me take the children on holiday. They're just doing it out of spite. There's nothing I can do.
• I don't have to agree to anything. If they want to take the children on holiday they can ask and I'll just say no.
• The Cafcass parenting plan is a court form I have to file.
• I need an expert witness to read our messages and tell the court who the abuser is. That's the only way the judge will understand what's really happening.
• My child is over 10 and wants 50/50 — but I know that isn't right for them. Will the court listen to me?
• The safeguarding concerns are real — keeping the children away protects them. Won't the court understand?
• My ex has moved away with the children — can I force them to come back?
• The Cafcass report is wrong — I need to make sure the court knows exactly how I feel about it.
• The children are old enough to pass on a message to my ex — is that okay?
• I'll have to go to court to get divorced — it's going to be a long, stressful process in front of a judge.
• My court directions give me a specific date for filing/exchanging so why does the other side miss deadlines and why doesn’t it matter once I get to court
• If I can prove my ex is a narcissist or is alienating the children, the court will rule in my favour
• My ex has taken the children abroad and won't bring them back — there's nothing I can do now it's happened.
• When I apply to court, I'll get to attend the first hearing and tell the judge what's been happening.
• If we can't agree on arrangements for the children, court is the only option.
• Once I'm in the court process, I have to see it through to a final hearing.
• Having lawyers involved just makes family court cases more adversarial and drags things out.
• I have genuine safeguarding concerns but if I pause contact I will get into trouble with the judge for breaking the court order.
• If I can prove the other parent is failing, the court will rule in my favour.
• Having equal parental responsibility means I have the right to change where my child lives.
• I can thank my McKenzie Friend publicly on social media using my real name — it's harmless and helps them get more clients.
• The law says both parents have a right to see their child, so the court can't just refuse contact.
• Grandparents have automatic rights to see their grandchildren, so the court can't keep them apart.
• I've waited long enough, so the court has to give me contact now.
• I've been the parent who has stayed at home and looked after the children, so I deserve to have a lives-with order made for me with an unequal sharing of contact. It shouldn't be 50/50.
• If no findings of fact are found, I will automatically be allowed to start seeing the children.
• Criminal court and family court both work on the same principle of beyond reasonable doubt.
• An alcohol test is always definitive.
• I'm allowed to take my child abroad for a holiday without the consent of the other parent.
• The government has scrapped the presumption of parental involvement, so the court no longer presumes my involvement is good for my child.
• I'm on the birth certificate, so I'm legally the father — DNA doesn't change that.
• Any expert I bring to court will be accepted — a therapist, counsellor, or support worker can give evidence as long as they know about the subject.
• Grandparents have automatic rights to their grandchildren because they're family.
• The court will always keep contact going between my child and their other parent — that's the child's right, no matter what happened between us.
• A child can just refuse to see a parent, or has no say at all, depending on their age.
• A parent can arrange for someone else to have parental responsibility if something happens to them, just by agreement.
• I can raise safeguarding concerns to stop contact, and it won't matter if I've allowed similar risks elsewhere.
• I can just stop contact if I'm worried, without any consequences.
• It's my right to see my child, or my right to stop the other parent seeing them.
• Whatever my child says about the other parent must be their genuine, unprompted view.
• If my child says they want to live somewhere else, the court will just make it happen.
• If Cafcass talks to my child, they'll make them choose between me and their other parent.
• If I contact a family lawyer, I'll have to commit to getting divorced right away.
• Whoever gets the child registered at a school first has the stronger position, unless there's a court order.
• A fact-finding hearing decides the final arrangements for my child.
• Calling the police on the other parent shows the court I am taking my child's safety seriously.
• (Hague Convention) If I can show the other parent has done bad or dangerous things, the court will refuse to return my child.
• (Hague Convention) If my child says they don't want to go back, the court has to listen and refuse the return.
• (Hague Convention) Once I've complied with a return order, that's the end of it.
• If I'm worried the other parent might take our child abroad, especially if they're a foreign national with ties elsewhere, that justifies a travel ban.
• If I initially deny the findings against me, then later say I've changed my mind and accept them, the court and the other parent have to take that at face value.
• Supervised" and "supported" contact are basically the same thing, just cheaper one way.
• Having parental responsibility means I'm entitled to know exactly where my child lives and every detail about their day-to-day life.
• A section 91(14) order (restricting future applications) can only be made if someone specifically applies for it.
• Moving to live near my child's new home just shows I want to reconnect with my community, nothing more.
• A non-molestation order is only ever a short-term, temporary measure.
• If several siblings share the same findings and family history, they'll all get the same contact arrangement.
• The court can order a Children's Guardian to personally facilitate or support contact between a parent and child, backed by a penal notice if they don't.
• A Children's Guardian changing their recommended approach to contact after seeing a child's distress is something the court can simply overrule or punish.
• Refusing to let a professional (like a Guardian) observe my contact with my child protects my privacy and doesn't affect my case.
• Holding out for my own preferred contact centre, even without a clear reason, is reasonable caution.
• (Hague Convention) A child's views only matter for the separate "child's objections" defence, not for deciding whether there's a grave risk under Article 13(b).
• (Hague Convention) If my child says they want to go back, that settles the question of whether they should be returned.
• (Hague Convention) Grave risk under Article 13(b) can only come from something the other parent might do directly to the child.
• (Wardship / Child's Own Application) Court applications about where a child should live are only something a parent can bring; a child themselves has no route to ask the court directly.
• (Wardship / Child's Own Application) Threatening to send a child back to live in another country as a punishment for bad behaviour is a parenting choice, not something the court will weigh as abuse.
• (Wardship / Child's Own Application) If a child later sends messages or records a video saying they're happy and want to stay, that's the end of the matter.
• (Wardship / Child's Own Application) If a whole family unites in saying the child is lying and caused all the trouble by reporting abuse, the child's account should be treated with suspicion.
• (Wardship / Child's Own Application) If the court is protecting a child from their parents, it can simply order the local authority to accommodate them.
• (Wardship / Child's Own Application) Once a prohibited steps order is made restricting what a parent can do, the parents can agree between themselves to relax or set it aside if they later agree.
• (Hadkinson Order / Appeals & Enforcement) In children's cases, blocking an appeal until costs are paid works the same way as in ordinary civil litigation.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) When my order says "file" or "send to the court", I email it.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I'll write my email to the court the way I always do.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I'll mark my email URGENT and the court will see it.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The clerk emailed me from her own address, so I'll send everything to her.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The court will reach me wherever I am now.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I can serve my ex by email because we always email each other.
• (Court Bundles) If my bundle is over the page limit, I'll send it anyway and explain at the hearing.
• (Court Bundles) If I can't meet the bundle deadline, I'll deal with it on the day.
• (Court Bundles) I have to contact my ex to agree the bundle, even though it isn't safe.
• (Domestic Abuse Courses) Any domestic abuse course will do, as long as I finish it.
• (Domestic Abuse Findings) We have separated, so the abuse cannot happen again and contact is safe.
• (Domestic Abuse Findings) Contact was ordered once, so the court will go back to it.
• (Child Arrangements) If the children say they want to see their other parent, the court will order contact.
• (Court orders) Every line in my order means the same thing: do it or else.
• (Court orders) My circumstances changed, so I can work around the order.
• (Child Arrangements) Being a good parent means I'll keep equal time.
• (Evidence) The judge can't comment on my insight unless I give evidence.
• (Child Arrangements) My child wants things to stay the same, so they will.
• (Evidence) The school backs me, so that will carry it.
• (Child Arrangements) Shared parental responsibility means I can attend every medical appointment.
• (Publication) Publishing a judgment about my child will harm them.
• Attending a domestic abuse programme or course proves I've changed.
• Because I love my children and they love me, shared care should be ordered.
• Minor disagreements after separation are normal and not relevant to the court.
• If Cafcass recommends against me, I've lost.
• Asking for more than I want gives me room to negotiate.
• The more allegations I raise, the stronger my case.
• Recording my child will prove what the other parent is saying.
• The judge will choose one parent's plan exactly as written.
• (Evidence) If I explain I was provoked, the court will understand why I reacted the way I did.
• (Domestic Abuse Findings) If the judge thinks I came across well in court, the contact decision is safe.
• (Alienating Behaviour) If I say the other parent is turning my child against me, the court will look at their behaviour first.
• (Domestic Abuse Courses) Domestic abuse programmes are just a Cafcass idea. The court can't really make me do one.
• (Appeals) The judge ordered unsupervised contact, so that is settled.
• A case has to go to a final hearing before the court can decide it.
• A parent in prison has to wait for their case to be decided until they are released.
• A parent can ask Cafcass for a section 7 report whenever they want one.
• Indirect contact such as letters, calls or recordings is always a safe way to stay in touch.
• A parent who has been abusive can be ordered to pay for contact sessions.
• Children are only victims of domestic abuse if they are physically hurt.
• Completing a domestic abuse programme will lead to contact.
• A section 91(14) order is a permanent ban on court applications.
• A parent released from prison will get unsupervised contact quickly.
• An absent parent cannot get school or nursery updates.
• A parent cannot stop the other parent collecting a child from nursery or school.
• As the respondent, I will be told straight away when my spouse applies for the conditional order, and I will get an email at every stage.
• An English order will still protect the child if they are taken abroad.

Non-Molestation & Protection (11)

Domestic abuse, non-molestation orders, occupation orders, and safety.

• Legal aid was removed from family cases for good reasons — the government knew what it was doing.
• Mediation forces you to agree to something.
• The court is a neutral space — once we separate, he has no power over me there.
• The MIAM is just a box to tick before I can go to court.
• As a victim of domestic abuse, I shouldn't be expected to negotiate — the court should understand I can't.
• If the CPS dropped the charges, the family court can't find abuse either.
• My partner solely owns our house, so if they want me out, I have no right to stay whatsoever.
• Given the history of abuse and a non-molestation order, I can just redact or withhold my bank statements to protect my safety.
• If my account has any inconsistencies, the judge won't believe me and my case is over.
• I'm right to refuse a parenting communication app if I'm afraid of the other parent controlling me.
• (Domestic Abuse Courses) If I accept some of the findings, that is enough to show insight.

Understanding the Process (131)

How court works: hearings, forms, evidence, and what to expect at each stage.

• My solicitor will take care of the hard bits.
• How can they do that?
• They're lying — why isn't the judge doing anything?
• The judge didn't listen to me
• They breached the order — why aren't they being punished?
• Why is the case taking so long?
• I thought the court would see what they've done
• Why is nothing being done about this?
• My ex is just bluffing — they won't really push the case all the way.
• They'll drop the case before we actually end up in front of a judge.
• We'll never reach a final hearing — my ex will back down before it comes to that.
• I've given the court all my proof – they have to look at it.
• Expectation vs Reality Gap
• Communication/Explanation Gap
• Responsibility Gap
• Process & Timing Gap
• Information Asymmetry Gap
• Power & Confidence Gap
• The judge will read everything I have submitted.
• If the other side lies in their statement, the judge will see straight through it.
• I do not need to attend every hearing — it is just procedural.
• Their solicitor said they can ring-fence the money — so it must be true.
• An urgent hearing means the court will make an instant decision on the day.
• Without prejudice means the communication is private and can never be used.
• If they don't cooperate, nothing can happen.
• More evidence earlier makes my case stronger.
• If we go to mediation, it should resolve things.
• I've been reasonable, so this should be straightforward.
• The solicitor is driving this — they will sort it out.
• The court needs to understand everything now — I should put it all in at the first hearing.
• If they lie or delay, the court will step in quickly and deal with it.
• I have a solicitor but the bills are mounting up. Can I switch to a McKenzie Friend instead?
• My solicitor is submitting my C100 and C1A. Once that is done, can I just take over from there?
• I can have a McKenzie Friend and a solicitor at the same time.
• When I am in court I just need to explain everything that has happened from the beginning.
• Allegations have been made against me. If I just deny them clearly, the court will see they are false.
• We've been paying solicitor fees for 18 months and can't afford to continue. If we change now we'll have to start the whole process again.
• Will the judge see the bigger picture of what has been going on?
• Will the court force the other side to disclose everything?
• I know my situation better than my solicitor or McKenzie Friend — can I just take the bits of advice that feel right?
• Do I really need to write everything down during proceedings?
• If the facts are on my side, will any judge reach the same conclusion?
• I can ask for a remote hearing — the court has to accommodate me.
• My ex spent all our money after we separated. The court will just add it back.
• regarding the new government consultation "The new cohabitation law has already kicked in
• The court has appointed a psychologist to assess my family. They must be qualified.
• All solicitors and barristers are the same.
• I don't need to look at a draft order the other party's barrister drafts, as it will always be an accurate reflection of what happened in the hearing.
• Magistrates are judges.
• I abide strictly by the court deadline for submitting documents, so the other party will too.
• I need a solicitor and/or a barrister to represent me and then I'll get what I want.
• Judges call a final hearing a trial as it works like the criminal court.
• Magistrates are judges.
• If I tell the court I have evidence at the directions hearing, I don't actually have to produce it.
• I can record my family court hearing on my phone — it is my case and I have a right to keep a record of what was said.
• Once I instruct a solicitor, they take over my case and I no longer need to worry about deadlines, disclosure or complying with court orders.
• If my solicitor comes off the record, my responsibilities to the court go with them.
• If my legal aid is under review or has lapsed, the court will pause my case until it is sorted.
• The court will make allowances for me because I am representing myself.
• I can ignore a court order I believe is wrong.
• If I destroy the signed prenup, nobody can prove it existed and the court cannot enforce it.
• If an interim order isn't working, I'm stuck with it until the final hearing.
• Mediation is something I can use as leverage, or ignore, with no consequences either way.
• If I breach a court order for a good reason, I'll still get punished for it.
• We're amicable and it's a cash buyout with no mortgage, so I can do the transfer of equity myself through the Land Registry.
• Every allegation in my schedule of allegations will be heard and decided at the fact-finding hearing.
• Admitting what happened, once I am confronted with clear evidence, counts the same as being honest from the start.
• If I keep saying the findings against me are wrong, the final welfare hearing is where I get a chance to argue that again.
• I'm entitled to transcripts of every hearing in my case at public expense so I can show what really happened.
• Continuing to deny findings against me is just me standing my ground, and shouldn't count against me now.
• If I don't cross-examine a witness I believe is biased, it won't be held against me since I don't trust the process anyway.
• If a judge cuts me off when I try to explain why I need an adjournment, that's just robust case management I have to accept.
• If professionals or the court are frustrated that court orders "aren't being treated as optional," escalating straight to a penal notice against whoever is involved is a reasonable fix.
• If proceedings have already run for years, a judge who knows the case well should keep hearing it, even if things go wrong procedurally.
• If I keep asking for a fact-finding hearing, the court eventually has to hold one to settle the truth of my allegations.
• A judge's decision not to hold a fact-finding hearing is something an appeal court will readily revisit if I disagree.
• A section 91(14) order permanently shuts the door on bringing future applications.
• (Hadkinson Order / Appeals & Enforcement) If the other party hasn't fully paid a costs order, I can get their appeal stopped or struck out until they pay.
• (Hadkinson Order / Appeals & Enforcement) If I already have an effective way to enforce a costs order, like a third-party debt order, that supports getting extra enforcement pressure through the appeal itself.
• (Hadkinson Order / Appeals & Enforcement) Whether permission to appeal has already been granted makes no difference to this kind of application.
• I need a "bulldog" lawyer who will fight aggressively and give the other side hell.
• Once I'm representing myself, I'll pick up what I need to know as I go along.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) If I run out of time, I'll bring paper copies to the hearing.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) A new application can run to 70 pages by email.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The court can open any file I attach.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) Anything I email after 4pm counts as the next day.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) As applicant, the bundle is always my job.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) Because I email the court, it will send me documents by email.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I can email to ask for an in-person hearing instead of a remote one.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I can ask to move the hearing a couple of days before.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I can ask as many questions as I need in my questionnaire.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The court will ask me for dates I'm unavailable.
• (Court Bundles) I should put my emails, texts and WhatsApp messages in the bundle to prove my point.
• (Court Bundles) Photos and recordings will show the judge what really happened, so I'll add them.
• (Court Bundles) Once I've sent the bundle, I can send an updated version if something changes.
• (Court Bundles) Sending the bundle a bit late won't matter as long as it arrives before the hearing.
• (Court Bundles) If the other side won't agree the bundle, I'll email the court and it will sort it out.
• (Court Bundles) One paper copy of the bundle is enough.
• (Court Bundles) I'll number the pages first and sort out the index later.
• (Court Bundles) The case summary and chronology are where I set out my side of the story.
• (Court Bundles) If my order doesn't mention a bundle, I don't need one.
• (Court Bundles) A bundle is a bundle, so I'll put everything in.
• (Court Bundles) A document in another language can go in as it is.
• (Court Bundles) I can send my bundle as several separate files.
• (Court Bundles) For an urgent hearing I don't need to send anything in advance.
• (Court Bundles) Preliminary documents only go to the court office.
• (Solicitor Letters) The deadline in the solicitor's letter is a legal deadline.
• (Solicitor Letters) My reply to the solicitor is just between me and them.
• (Solicitor Letters) The other side's solicitor will tell me what's fair.
• (Solicitor Letters) Telling me to get legal advice means they're warning me I'll lose.
• (Solicitor Letters) Aggressive, threatening letters are just how solicitors write.
• (Solicitor Letters) The letter says they'll apply to court, so a case has started.
• (Solicitor Letters) I have to send every document the solicitor asks for.
• (Solicitor Letters) If I send something to the court, the solicitor doesn't need a copy.
• (Evidence) I can adjust my story as the case goes on.
• (Court orders) I only have to follow the parts of the order I agreed with.
• (Appeals) If a professional says something new in the witness box, I can raise it on appeal.
• (Evidence) I'll get to reply to the other side's statement.
• (Appeals) I can ask the judge to clarify and have another go.
• (Appeals) An appeal is a second hearing.
• (Publication) If I object to my judgment being published, the court won't publish it.
• (Publication) The judgment criticises me, so the court will keep it private to protect me from comment online.
• (Publication) Anonymisation means nobody who knows us could ever work out it's us.
• (Publication) I'll get to see and approve the anonymised version before it's published.
• (Publication) The court has to hold a hearing to decide whether to publish.
• My own accountant's report carries the same weight as the single joint expert.
• Telling the court the business is struggling will reduce what I have to pay.
• If I don't produce certain documents, the court just has less information.
• A court will always hear oral evidence before making a final decision.
• A McKenzie Friend can address the court for me whenever I want.
• I can record the other parent's conversations and use them in court.

McKenzie Friends & Support (16)

What a McKenzie Friend can and cannot do, and how to find the right support.

• The other side's solicitor is allowed to do whatever they want
• Capacity & Overwhelm Gap
• Representation Myth Gap
• Continuity Gap
• I have a solicitor appointment. I will explain everything that has happened and they will tell me what to do.
• My barrister will do exactly what I want
• A McKenzie Friend can be recommended like any other professional — I just need to find a good one in my area.
• The other party has a solicitor and barrister, so that means I need one too or I'll be at a disadvantage.
• If I qualify for legal aid, it will cover my case from start to finish without interruption.
• I can use AI to help write my court documents and it will give me real cases and real law to back up my arguments.
• A supportive letter from a doctor or other professional backing my account carries real weight, even if they're not directly treating me or weren't given the full picture.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The court will give me a secure way to send sensitive documents.
• (Solicitor Letters) What the solicitor's letter says must be true, because a solicitor wrote it.
• (Solicitor Letters) I have to reply today, and I can't ask for more time.
• (Solicitor Letters) Emailing the solicitor is secure.
• (Solicitor Letters) My McKenzie Friend can deal with the solicitor for me.

More observations (26)

• I sent everything in — why hasn't it made a difference?
• The court order says we use a co-parenting app. It used to be free. Now they are refusing to pay for it and I cannot enforce communication.
• Am I liable for my spouse's hidden debt?
• If the court didn't make a finding of fact, it means they didn't believe me — and that changes nothing.
• regarding the new government consultation "This cohabitation reform is just a weapon for women
• regarding the new government consultation "There will be no way to opting out of the proposed cohabitation rules
• Common assumption prior to the new government consultation on co-habitation "We are common-law married so I am already protected
• An undertaking is just a promise I made in court. It is not a real order — nothing serious can happen if I breach it.
• Parenting apps are free.
• Smart glasses are just glasses — I can wear them into court without a problem.
• The government announced prenups are now legally binding — so my prenuptial agreement will be enforced by the court.
• (Hague Convention) If the other parent broke their promises to the court last time, that proves this kind of promise never works.
• Asking for a lie detector or polygraph test is a reasonable way to challenge findings I disagree with.
• If I ask for a transparency order to expose bias or unfair treatment, the court has to grant one.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) If my documents are too big, I'll send several emails.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) My PDF has 45 pages, so I'm under the limit.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) A file name like "statement.pdf" is fine.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) If the court doesn't reply, my email has gone missing.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) If I copy my ex into my email to the court, I've served it.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) Once I've emailed the typed version, I don't need the signed one.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) The court will send me a payment link for my D11.
• (Filing & Emailing the Court) I can always email the court with updates.
• (Budgets) If I ask for a big budget, I'll get more.
• (Publication) My only option is to oppose publication outright.
• (Publication) Once it's published, I can share it and say who it's about.
• Once the accountant values the business, that figure is what it's worth.