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One of the factors the court must consider when deciding a fair financial settlement on divorce, under section 25(2)(g) of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. The court looks at 'the conduct of each of the parties' — but only if it would be inequitable to disregard it. This is a high bar: ordinary behaviour, even adultery or unkindness, usually isn't enough. Conduct that can matter includes gross personal misconduct, recklessly dissipating family assets (for example, gambling them away), fraud, or serious litigation misconduct. Conduct is rarely the deciding factor, but where it's serious it can shift the outcome.
In Plain English
This refers to behavior so bad that the court decides it should change the final financial settlement. While judges usually ignore things like cheating, they may act if someone has done something extreme, like gambling away the entire family savings.
This content reflects observational insights and lived community experiences. It does not constitute legal advice — always consult a qualified professional for your specific circumstances.
A "gap" is a common assumption people hold going into family court, set against what the court actually does. The bold line below is the assumption — not a fact. The reality underneath is what the court typically observes.
Gap #544
The assumption
Enforcing the Consumer Prices Index (CPI) increase you're owed gives the other side grounds to apply to reduce your maintenance.
The reality
Asking the payer to comply with an existing order is not conduct that justifies a variation, and it does not create new grounds for one. A variation application requires a change of circumstances since the order was made — not the fact that you enforced it. Retaliatory applications happen, but enforcement itself is not a trigger the court recognises. Keep your request factual, in writing, and keep copies.
Gap #541
The assumption
Refusing the other side's proposal counts as unreasonable conduct that could trigger a costs order against you.
The reality
Turning down a proposal is not poor conduct in itself. The conduct that justifies a costs order is about how you run the case — missing deadlines, ignoring court orders, not giving full disclosure, running up costs on points that don't matter, or unreasonably refusing to engage with the process. Rejecting an offer you genuinely believe is unfair is your right, not misconduct. Send your proposal when you are ready, keep your replies factual and polite, and keep a copy of everything.
Gap #540
The assumption
If you lose or turn down an offer, the other side can automatically make you pay their costs.
The reality
The general rule in financial remedy cases is no order for costs (Family Procedure Rules, rule 28.3). Costs are the exception, not the default. The court will only order costs where a party's conduct in the litigation justifies it — things like missing deadlines, ignoring court orders, failing to give full disclosure, running up costs on points that don't matter, or unreasonably refusing to engage. Turning down a proposal is not poor conduct in itself.
Gap #466
The assumption
(Domestic Abuse Findings) How I speak to solicitors, Cafcass or contact centre staff has nothing to do with contact.
The reality
Where domestic abuse has been found, PD12J paragraph 37 asks the court to consider how the parent is likely to behave during contact and whether they are using the process to continue abuse. Abusive emails, swearing at staff and threatening language are evidence the court can use to answer those questions. In a recent appeal, this conduct was a central reason contact stayed supervised.
Navigating court alone?
A McKenzie Friend can help you understand terms like these in the context of your case.
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